What You Mean to Me
by dantesdarkqueen
Summary: This is what he meant to her. SephxOC, OCxOC, RenoxOC


**Summary: **This is what he meant to her. SephxOC, OCxOC, RenoxOC

**Disclaimer: **I am not rich. Therefore, this franchise does not belong to me.

**Queen's Quornor: **I've been trying to write a fic about Sephiroth and Akalara's first time together for some time now, but I could never quite make it work. But I couldn't just set it aside, because it was such an important moment in her life and in their relationship. Not to mention in a fic of mine for which I am still waiting for further chapters from my co-authors. So after countless approaches and rewrites, I finally came up with this one. I hope you all find it decent at least. This takes place while Ak, Rev, Az, Reno, and Niki are still in Costa del Sol.

What You Mean to Me

Revan let out a sigh as his emerald-haired lover slid off him, a satisfied grin wide across his face. "Damn, Ak. You're insatiable tonight."

Akalara tumbled onto the sheets beside him, her long forest-shaded tresses veiling her face so her glowing eyes shone like rubies between the strands. "Don't tell me you aren't enjoying this, Rev. I know you too well for that."

"Who said I wasn't?" One muscular arm snaked out and tucked her against his side, her hand finding his atop his stomach. "You know exactly how to give a guy exactly what he wants, and that takes a lot out of him. Where did you learn that, anyway?"

The green-haired Turk smiled, but her eyes grew haunted. "Practice, Rev. Lots and lots of practice." She smiled, hearing a telltale squeaking in the next room. "Sounds like Reno and Niki are getting plenty of that."

"Az can't hear that, right?"

"He's far enough away that he won't hear anything short of a scream. If I thought my son could hear us, do you honestly think I would allow you to touch me without a mastered Barrier materia activated?" Akalara snuggled into Revan's body as he pulled the thin sheet up to their waists. "We can fuck like rabbits and he'll never know it."

"Cool." Revan was silent for a moment, allowing his lover to listen to the sound of waves lapping outside on the beach. She was almost asleep when he spoke up again. "Ak?"

"Hmm?"

"How many guys have you been with, anyway?"

Akalara raised her head enough to look into his blue-green eyes. "Why do you want to know?"

"Just wondering where all this practice came from."

The female Turk rested her head once more, mulling over the past. After a moment, she finally said "Nine."

One blond brow arched. "Just nine?"

She nodded. "Nine guys in fifteen years."

"Fifteen? Wait a minute." He sat up to stare at her. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Akalara didn't look at him. "Twelve."

"What the hell were you doing having sex at twelve?!"

She lowered her head so her hair hid her eyes. "I had my reasons, Rev."

ASASASASASASASASASASASASASASASASASASAS

_I still don't know why Scar chose me. I wasn't the prettiest girl in the Shade Wolves. I had barely even started growing breasts yet. But one night Scar asked me if I wanted to sleep in a real bed for once, and I leapt at the chance. If you had been sleeping wrapped up in rags on ice-cold concrete for the past eight years, with your back up against an equally chilly wall, wouldn't you?_

_I didn't know how sex was supposed to work. I had no idea what was going to happen. Scar only knew the basic mechanics. He was fourteen at the time, and my first time went a little something like the average rape. The only difference was that I was willing, since I knew that I'd be given a better position in the gang if I was fucking the leader. I didn't know how sex worked, but I did know that much. _

_But it took a long time for me to forget the pain. All that happened was that he penetrated me. I remember fighting the urge to scream, biting my lip until it bled. Scar kissed me a lot. He had me suck him off until he came. That was something I'll never forget: the taste of my own blood on his cock, in his semen. _

_Clarissa told me he wanted me to get pregnant, which was why he made me give him head. Babies grew in a girl's stomach, so if I drank his cum I'd eventually get pregnant. She was the one who told me how sex worked, so I was inclined to believe her. I wasn't sure why Scar wanted a baby, but he made me suck him whenever he was close. _

_Three years I dealt with that. Scar didn't bang me every night, but more often than not I was sleeping on his pile of rags and filthy mattress. I figured out how to brace myself so it didn't hurt so much, to just lie there until he straddled me. Scar liked kissing me, and I didn't mind that part. But in those three years I never once felt good when he fucked me. _

_When I told him I wanted out of the gang, after Clarissa was killed, I halfway expected him to refuse me. But Scar let me go. I don't know what happened to him after that. Frankly, I don't care. All I know is that the Shade Wolves are still running around in Old Midgar, and gang leaders only live as long as their subordinates like them. For all I know, Scar's been dead ever since I left. Or he could still be alive. Maybe he got out of the streets, too. I don't care. _

_Nobody had sex with me while I was a dancer. I had plenty of offers, but nobody interested me. And I wasn't about to sleep with any of my coworkers. So while the other girls were partying and getting laid, I was slinking off to bathe in fountains in the dark hours of the morning and finding a safe place to sleep. _

_I was eighteen when I looked out into the audience and saw a gorgeous man in black leather with this long silver hair. I knew he had friends with him, but for a few minutes he was the only thing I saw. Sure, I knew who he was. The Great Sephiroth, Shinra's Silver General. And I saw the way he was eyeing me. It was the same look Scar always gave me before dragging me off to his bed. _

_I knew lust when I see it. And this was one of the most powerful men in the world. So I figured 'what I have got to lose?' and went out to greet him after my number was over and I had gotten dressed. _

_He offered me a deal. If I would sleep with him whenever he wanted, then he would give me a new life. An apartment, furniture, clothes, food, a respectable job, and a future career with the Turks. I thought it was a great deal, considering tht it meant that terrible pain all over again. Or so I thought._

_You should have seen the look on his face when I undressed and laid down on his bed, legs spread. I told him to get it over with, that I was ready. He retorted that I was far from ready, that I wasn't even wet yet._

_I had no idea what he meant. So he asked me if I was a virgin. Of course I wasn't. But he shocked me by telling me that, in a way, I still was. According to Sephiroth, a person truly loses their virginity when they make love, when they have sex with a person who cares about them and pleases them. _

_'Isn't that the woman's job?' I asked. 'To make the man feel good?'_

_'Sort of,' he replied. 'But the man is just as responsible for the woman's pleasure as she is his.'_

_'Women can feel pleasure?'_

_Oh, they most certainly can. Sephiroth showed me with fingers, lips, teeth, and tongue how my body was supposed to feel during sex. And when he finally entered me, I was shocked that it didn't hurt. Even more so, since Sephiroth was a lot bigger than Scar had been._

_I think that was part of why I fell in love with him. He was the first person to genuinely care more about me than himself, the first to make me feel good, especially in such an intimate way. Not only that, but Sephiroth was my teacher. He taught me to read, to write, how babies were made, and to use technology outside bombs and guns. _

_Teacher, lover, and friend. _

_As much as I love you, Revan, my heart will always belong to him. He meant too much to me for you to ever replace him. _

_Following my return to Midgar, after Azrael's birth, I completed my training as a Turk. But instead of being promoted, I was deemed unnecessary to their current objectives and made a bodyguard instead. Yes, we Turks do the bodyguard thing. But we do a hell of a lot more than that. All I was doing back then was babysitting Rufus. _

_Just like Scar, Seph, Zack, and Reno, the vice president desired me. So I let him have me. It wasn't too bad. Rufus was a good lover, but he was way too arrogant and I would much rather have been a Turk. _

_That didn't happen until after Meteorfall and the Remnants, six years later. _

_Did you know that I once saw the Turks as I did the Shade Wolves? Just another gang, one to rise in and rule in order to protect myself. Nobody would have my back, not even my assigned partner. At that point, I even thought of Kandi, my best friend, as just an ally. And I knew that in order to secure my position in the group, I had to utilize my physical appeal._

_To gain allies, I slept with my male coworkers, and talked to some of the ladies. I picked three of my fellow male rookies/trainees and seduced them. I gave them whatever they wanted, so they would realize my value as a woman. So long as they were with me, they could have anything they desired. A submissive, a lover, a slave, a dominatrix... I could give them anything, so long as they kept me around._

_Then Reno pinned me in a closet, and I switched gears. _

_He was a senior Turk, after all. Not only that, but we were friends, and he'd had me before. He knew what I was capable of. Even if the others forsook me, Reno could protect me from my rivals and Tseng if I ever got on his bad side. That's why I fought so hard for him. He was my safety net, thought I loved him only as a friend. To have the second most powerful Turk as my lover, my boyfriend, meant that my future was secure. Niki was a threat, and the Shade Wolves taught me that rivals must be either compromised or destroyed. _

_I have to admit that you weren't one of my choices, Rev. I thought you were handsome, but not influential enough to protect me from Tseng's wrath. I didn't think you had the necessary power I was looking for, the status. _

_Do you remember when I set off the bomb in Niki's desk? You wanted a blowjob in exchange for helping me. Do you remember what happened when I gave it to you?_

_Sex with Reno was always great, but he never went for the slow, thorough type of sex with me. The others didn't either, not exactly. Did you know that you were the first person since Sephiroth to make love with me instead of just fuck me?_

_The other three had Turk lovers of their own. Reno had me, Niki, and Brit. I was fucking Reno, but I had nobody to take care of me, of my needs. _

_Until I came back to myself with my back against cool tile in the mens' showers, clinging to you with warm water cascading down upon us, and you simply holding me. _

_Nobody really held me in the aftermath. Seph and Zack were the only people who had. More than that, it wasn't always just about sex. With Seph especially, sometimes he took me to his bed just so he could hold me, so I could comfort him without words. I just knew, from that moment in the showers, that you were the type of man to do the same. _

_That's part of why I love you, Rev. I'll never tell you this, but it's true. I love you because you remind me of Sephiroth. Just as he saved me from the streets, you saved me from being the Turks' fuck-doll, from regressing back into my childhood mentality. _

_I suppose, in a way, I've lost my virginity thrice, not once. My physical virginity to Scar at twelve, actual virginity to Seph at eighteen, and finally my ability to do something I wanted, for my own pleasure rather than somebody else's, was broken in by you. _

_Don't look so shocked, Rev. I didn't have much of a choice with Scar. But I did with Seph, and I did with you. Scar, my first, means nothing to me. But you and Sephiroth? _

_You mean everything to me._

ASASASASASASASASASASASASASAS

Akalara licked her lips, looking at Revan's muscle-heavy chest, trying to see his heart. "I was a street kid, Rev. I did what I had to in order to survive."

Revan shook his head slowly, shock still plain upon his face. "You were just a _kid_, Ak."

"I had to grow up fast." She lightly pushed him back down, then laid her head in the hollow between chest and shoulder once more. "The choice was simple: be a kid and die, or be a grown-up and live. My virginity was the least of what I sacrificed for my survival."

"Just one thing. Was it good for you?" Revan asked, pulling the sheets back up and wrapping his arm about her.

Akalara shrugged. "The first time? No. But the second and third more than made up for it."


End file.
